What’s in it for me? Learn the secret behind change that lasts.
If you’ve chosen this Blink, you must be looking to change your life. Perhaps you want to be wiser about your finances, or become a more present parent, or finally quit drinking.
Maybe you tried to change in the past – more than once. But you always find yourself going back to the old ways. No matter what technique you use, you can’t seem to make positive change permanent.
Well, don’t give up hope that long-term change is possible. What you need is a roadmap that guides you through how to create lasting change. In this Blink, you’ll find out exactly how to do that, with the help of God and his Word.
Change starts by knowing your true self, future self, and calling
Since her early years, Amy had always thought of herself as an average student. She wasn’t the brightest kid in her high school class, and her report card confirmed it. This notion stayed with her until her sophomore year of college, when she met someone who told her she was actually the exact opposite. She was academically gifted – she just couldn’t see it.
At first, Amy brushed off the idea. She was far from being smart. In fact, she had always been average her entire life. But as time went on, Amy started to think she may really have potential. This newfound belief ignited a fire within her, and before she knew it, she was acing all of her classes and getting a perfect 4.0 GPA.
Amy is the perfect example of how self-perception has a powerful influence on your behavior. If you believe you’re average, you will act like an average Joe. If you believe you’re a bad parent, you will act like a bad parent. If you believe you’re a drunkard, you will act like a drunkard.
Both the Bible and psychology prove this to be true. Proverbs 23:7 says that you become what you think of yourself. Research, on the other hand, reports that the choices you make are largely based on how you identify yourself.
So, if you want to see changes in your life, you need to start by changing your self-perception. Only then will you change your behavior.
But how exactly can you transform your thinking? You can do this by knowing three things: your true self, your future self, and your calling.
Discovering your true self is no easy feat. Most of the time, you’ll identify with other people’s opinions of you, and the internal description you hear in your head. But only one being knows who your true self is: God.
In John 15:14, you are defined as a friend of Christ. In 2 Corinthians 5:20, you are God’s ambassador. In Deuteronomy 7:6, you are a cherished possession. You are not what others say you are. You are what God says you are. If none of these affirmations resonate with you, there are plenty of others in the Scripture. Find your Bible verse of choice, then read it repeatedly until you start to believe it as true.
Next, you must identify your future self – who you want to turn into. Think about what you aim to be in ten years. By defining that better version of yourself, you can start shaping your life today to get to it.
Finally, changing your self-perception requires knowing your calling. In 2 Timothy 1:9, you’ll find that your calling is to lead a holy life. This means serving Jesus in everything you do, and in the process, you’ll transform yourself to be more like him. That is your ultimate goal: to become and act like the Son of God.
Speaking of goals, let’s explore more about those now.
Don’t try to change – train to change
In 1 Corinthians 9:26, Paul emphasizes how he doesn’t run without a specific goal in mind. That’s exactly what you need to do, too. After changing how you see yourself, you then need to set your goal, your objective, your win. And as mentioned previously, your goal should be to become more like Christ.
With that goal in mind, you can start aiming for specific stepping stones that will lead you to that path. Those smaller goals are equally important to define. After all, how can you work on them if you don’t even know what they are?
Goals are what set the course for your journey to change. When you define what they are, you’ll get an idea of where to go and how to get there. Moreover, you’ll be more motivated to reach for them because you can picture them clearly.
Take a moment to identify what your goals are. Then, when you’ve done that, tell a loved one about those goals. According to psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews, you’re more likely to accomplish your goals if you share them with someone.
After setting your goals, you can move onto the next stage: taking action. However, taking action doesn’t mean you try to get the goals. Instead, you train to get them. This is specifically mentioned in 1 Corinthians 9:25, where Paul says that rigorous training is required before joining the Olympic Games.
But what exactly is the difference between trying and training? Trying is putting in the work in the moment; training is putting in the work before the moment. To understand this better, imagine that your goal is to win the college-wide dance contest. Simply trying your best on competition day won’t be enough. To get that elusive trophy, what you need to do is train before the competition day. You have to plan the choreography and practice it every day. That’s how you win.
Training, not trying, works because what you do beforehand prepares you for the moment, so when it comes, you know exactly how to act. Training involves two essential components: discipline and habits.
Discipline is all about prioritizing your goals above immediate gratification. Think of it this way: your goal is to be top of the class. Being disciplined means choosing to study instead of scrolling through social media. You’re prioritizing your goals over the immediate gratification you get from checking your newsfeed.
With disciplined training, you can start changing your life. However, while choosing discipline sounds easy to do, we all know it’s not. Even the Bible says so. In Hebrews 12:11, discipline is described as painful. And it really is. But the pain you get from discipline will always be less than the pain you get from not reaching your goals. So choose discipline because it will be worth it in the end.
The second component of training is habits. They are activities that don’t need too much critical thinking. You just end up doing them automatically.
What makes habits a significant part of your journey to change is that they shape you into the person you are now. The habits are the seeds you’ve planted in the past, and the fruit of those seeds is what you are now. So if you have a habit of smoking, you have now become a smoker. If you have a habit of ignoring your partner’s needs, you have now become an unsupportive spouse.
As you can see, habits have a profound impact on your life. So if you want to start your journey to change, it’s important to take a look at your habits and identify what needs to be improved and what needs to go.
Let’s dive deeper into how you can build a positive habit and break a bad one.
Tips on starting and stopping a habit
There are several techniques you can try to make developing a positive habit much easier. One is by setting up your environment to prompt you to engage in that habit. For instance, if you want to do 300 jump ropes every morning, put your jump rope on the bedside table, so you see it the moment you wake up.
It helps if you decide on the specifics of your habit ahead of time. Plan what day and time you’ll practice the habit and where you’ll do it. Studies suggest that this is an effective way to commit to that new habit. For instance, as well as deciding that you’ll jump rope in the morning, you allocate the back porch as the place to do it.
You’re also more likely to build a new habit if you do it with an already-existing habit. Say you want to start journaling. You already have a nighttime routine of reading before bed, so you can just add journaling to that routine, doing it for ten minutes before you pick up your book. That way, you won’t forget to do it.
To stick with a new habit, try to make it pleasurable, easy, and shared: pleasurable in a way that you like doing the habit; easy so that it only takes a few minutes to do; and shared so that your loved ones can support you while you build the habit.
Finally, repeat the habit as many times as possible. When you do something over and over again, it eventually becomes second nature. So just keep at it.
Now that you know how to start a new and positive habit, let’s look at how you can stop an old and negative one. Say you want to stop smoking or stop using social media after 10 p.m.
To break this habit, what you need to do is to eliminate it. Proverbs 4:14–15 says that avoiding the path of evil means not stepping on it in the first place. Start by removing the things that trigger you to engage in the habit. For example, avoid buying any more cigarette packs, or lock your phone apps after 10 p.m.
If a bad habit involves addiction, you’re going to need additional support. In cases like that, don’t rely on yourself to avoid the triggers. Seek out professional help.
With these tips on starting and stopping a habit, you’re well on your way to change. But there is one other thing you need to know to effectively establish new habits: they must be paired with consistency.
Consistently doing your habits can reap change
If you’re a follower of Christ, chances are you’re already familiar with Nehemiah. He was the man who urged the people of Jerusalem to rebuild the city’s wall 140 years after the Babylonians destroyed it. It was a daunting task indeed. In fact, many believed it was impossible. But Nehemiah was determined to see it through. His game plan? Simple: put the wall back together one brick after another.
Day by day, Nehemiah and the Jews placed a brick on the wall, one at a time. They repeated this habit until finally, the wall was back to its former glory. They accomplished what was supposed to be impossible in – drum roll, please – 52 days! Yes, only 52 days.
Nehemiah’s story is a powerful and inspiring reminder of how consistency can bring anything to fruition. When you’re consistent, even the smallest of habits can turn you into what you want to become. Sure, doing ten push-ups today won’t get you that upper body strength you’re after, but doing ten pushups every day for five years will.
That’s thanks to the power of the cumulative and compound effects. The cumulative effect adds up all your efforts over time, and the compound effect multiplies those added efforts. What you get is something more than what you initially put in.
Here’s an exercise to help you start practicing consistency. Name one aspect of your life you want to change. Then, name your bricks – or the small habits – you need to do to get there. Do these habits consistently over the next several months or years, and find out where they’ll take you.
Naturally, you won’t see the results right away. You need to be patient and trust that your habits will grow and bear fruit. Just as what is said in Galatians 6:9, if you continue your good deeds, the time will come for you to harvest the rewards of your efforts. Remain steadfast in your habits, and you’ll soon see the changes you desire.
Draw on God’s power, not your willpower, to propel you to a changed you
Let’s do a quick recap of what we’ve covered so far. In order to make lasting changes in your life, you need to transform your self-perception, train with discipline, and practice your habits consistently. You probably think that’s the end of the story, but that’s where you’re mistaken. There’s still a missing ingredient to make change last: God’s power.
Yes, you need the Father to help you because in reality, you can’t do it on your own. It’s human nature to give into your bad habits, to do the things you don’t want to do. That’s what Paul warns about in Galatians 5:17.
You can’t depend on just yourself and your willpower because even research says that your willpower gets depleted. So instead of doing it alone, seek God’s help to power you through your journey of change.
But how do you actually draw on God’s power? There are four things you need to do. The first one is to let God transform your thinking. Start by reading your Bible regularly. Focus on a few passages and take them to heart. It’s also a good idea to immerse yourself in the teachings by listening to them, whether that’s online or at a church.
The second thing you need to do is to form an intimate connection with Christ because, as it says in John 15:5, you need to rely on him to do anything. To stay connected with Jesus, you must pray to him regularly, meditate and feel his presence, and carry out his teachings faithfully.
After forming an intimate connection with Christ, the third step is to accept that you need God’s power. Stop putting all your confidence in yourself, and start acknowledging that it is only with the Father that you can succeed.
Then, the final step is to ask. That’s exactly what James 1:5 tells you to do. Simply ask God, and he will happily give you access to his power.
With this power, anything is possible, and you can start creating change that lasts.
Final Summary
The key to creating positive, lasting change in your life is to first change what you think of yourself. Then, start training to change by using discipline to consistently practice your new habits. And finally, let God’s power drive you towards implementing those changes and making them last
Leave a Reply